What did you buy with your royalty checks?

I ended my Christmas music Midday Show marathon with the Waitresses "Christmas Wrapping," my all-time favorite Yuletide tune. That prompted my buddy J_ to post "I listen to the Waitresses year-round" as his Facebook status, which in turn led to another one of his pals linking to this unusual story about Waitresses' songwriter/guitarist Chris Butler (who was interviewed in one of the earliest issues of Festive!). Now? He owns Jeffrey Dahmer's childhood home. Whoa.

reverse psychology

Grace Jones on "Pee-Wee's Playhouse Christmas Special"

When Am It?

In this mad dash to December 25, do you lose track of the date or time? Ladies and gentleman, set aside your fears and simply visit Is It Christmas-dot-com.

Have yourself a Blackberry Christmas

A few weeks ago, I lost my cell phone in the back of a cab. No big deal. I needed a new one. And if some crazed new wave theater queen found it, s/he now has phone numbers for Antony, two-fifths of Scissor Sisters, and at least one Academy Award nominee. Oops. (I don't feel that bad: Antony lost his phone this summer, and you know his contacts list shames mine.) Anyhow, I promised myself that until I'd mastered various applications, I'd at least use the camera on my new BlackBerry to document the holidays. Here's a sample...

A couple from the aftermath of the Lashes' reunion show.





Based on what I witnessed, 2009 was the year Santarchy jumped the shark. Wish I'd gotten a shot of the gentleman strolling down John in skintight black, accessorized with red leather chaps, and a Santa hat.



Spencer Moody's "Stoked on Christmas" extravaganza was mind-bending. This disturbing fellow was perched on the piano. Spencer said he'd just "shown up" in a box of miscellanea at The Anne Bonny.



Beautiful gingerbread houses at the Capitol Hill branch of the Seattle public library. All I could think about was the story "And Two Eyes Made Out of Coal" from Augusten Burroughs hilarious new book, You Better Not Cry.

Sharon Jones' "Ain't No Chimneys in the Projects"

Oh for the love of Pete! How did I not know there was a new Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings Christmas single until I tuned into Johnny Horn's "Preachin' the Blues" this morning? Better late than never, I reckon. Snag a mp3 of the smokin' "Ain't No Christmas In The Projects" for free from Daptone by signing up for their newsletter. You can also purchase physical copies—they're billing it as a "website exclusive," and Dusty Groove doesn't seem to be stocking it. While you're there, pick up Binky Griptite's "World of Love" b/w "Stoned Soul Christmas," too. The latter retrofits Laura Nyro's classic "Stoned Soul Picnic" as a Yuletide tune, and it's outta sight!

Happy Christmas, Michael Feinstein

There is a great editorial about Christmas music ("Whose Christmas Is It?") by Michael Feinstein in today's New York Times. Although I'm not a fan of his performance style, I'm a fan of Feinstein the archivist. On more than one occasion during my four-year tenure at the Rodgers & Hammerstein Organization, an inquiry from Michael sent me digging through the archives of Irving Berlin Music to excavate songs nobody else had ever heard of. So it brought a smile to my face to see Michael give a shout out to another "lost" song from my R&H past in the Times:

Richard Rodgers and Harold Arlen mainly created songs for musical plays and films, and unless a story line required a holiday song they had no need to write one. When they did try one outside the framework of a show, it rarely had the same spark. Rodgers and Hammerstein’s “Happy Christmas, Little Friend,” recorded by Rosemary Clooney in the ’50s, is sadly lethargic. Even Clooney couldn’t recall it when asked to sing it 30 years later. Or so she claimed.

Here's a snap of Miss Clooney singing that tune on a 1953 TV special. She doesn't look especially engaged, does she?



When we included the song in the Rodgers & Hammerstein Rediscovered folio, by old boss Ted Chapin had this (and nothing else) to say about it:

HAPPY CHRISTMAS, LITTLE FRIEND - 1952 - The only bona fide Christmas song Rodgers and Hammerstein ever wrote. It first appeared as a pull-out in the December 1952 issue of LIFE Magazine. The following year it became the official Christmas Seal song.

Oh TV set, oh TV set...

If you find yourself with free time on your hands this holiday season, don't waste it watching bad Christmas television, when you could invest it reading this great blog about Christmas television. Okay, it isn't all-Christmas, all-year... that would be crazy... but it's in full Yuletide mode right now.

Christmas carols, Christmas quarrels

Last week, Kate McGarrigle and her children Rufus and Martha Wainwright hosted another one of their annual Christmas shows. This year "A Not So Silent Night" took place at the Royal Albert Hall in London, and featured cameos from Boy George, French & Saunders, Linda Thompson, and all sorts of other bad-ass family friends. The Guardian's review is here.

Speaking of family... issue #78 of No Depression: The Bookazine (Whatever That Is) centers around the theme "Family Style." I was asked to profile the extended Wainwright showbiz dynasty. But after accepting the assignment, and procrastinating longer than I care to admit, I discovered that Vanity Fair had written the be-all-and-end-all of features on the clan, "Songs in the Key of Lacerating," not that long ago.

My only recourse? To focus on Christmas. The Roches, the McGarrigles, and the Wainwrights have all written, recorded and performed Christmas songs in various permutations and combinations over the decades, and I thought this might provide an odd window into their family dynamic. And it did. Miraculously, I got Martha Wainwright, Suzzy Roche, Lucy Wainwright Roche, Sloan Wainwright, and even cantankerous patriarch Loudon Wainwright III to talk on the record about the holidays.

You can read the whole sorted story by picking up a hard copy here. Meanwhile, please enjoy this little quote I didn't use, from my beloved Martha Wainwright, apropos of family celebrations before they started putting on their annual holiday concerts.

"Christmas for Rufus and I was set in one of the most idyllic looking places for Christmas in the world, which is in the Laurentian Mountains of Canada, up, up, up North from Montreal, in the home where my mother and her sisters were born. My mother has an expression—and I don’t think you could print it—but she used to say, 'We’re up to our cunts in snow.' And making a huge turkey and sitting around this living room fire. So we’ve always had this idyllic and fantastic Christmas, which is no doubt why we eventually made a [Christmas] record. That time of year has always been very pleasant, and not filled with anxiety, as it can be for other families."

Perhaps I'm being immature, but the idea of one of the revered McGarrigle Sisters swearing amuses me ever so. Then again, Kate also knit the background they've been using in the show posters for years, which only increases my already formidable admiration for her.

"Christmas with the Jews" video

Here we are, four nights into Hanukkah 2009, and I still haven't posted any appropriate content. I actually have some kooky Yiddish tunes to put up before sundown on the 19th, I swear... but in the meantime, here's a seasonal offering from Elizabeth & The Catapult.

Christmas with the Jews from Elizabeth & the Catapult on Vimeo.

Gingerbread PEOPLE

Mark baked gingerbread cookies this weekend. He claimed he wanted one of them to be transgendered, since he'd had the phrase "hot trannie mess" stuck in his head all morning, but I think she just looks like a lady in an old-fashioned bathing suit. Maybe she's a bio queen, or one of the gingerbread "men" is FTM...

The Saws Sing Again!

Last year we were lucky enough to chat with Julian Koster (Music Tapes, Neutral Milk Hotel) about his eerie Yuletide masterpiece The Singing Saw at Christmastime. Julian got swept up in Christmas cheer again this year, and released a new carol for free download via our friends at Merge Records.

Julian Koster "White Christmas"

Julian, his singing saw, Badger, and his dog, Rudolph are currently in the midst of another caroling tour. The remaining cities on his route are:

12/14 – Providence, RI (and area)
12/15 – Riverside, CT / Purchase, NY / Marlboro, NY
12/16 – New York City, NY
12/17 – New York City, NY (and area)
12/18 – Manalapan, NJ (early) / Philadelphia, PA
12/19 – Baltimore, MD (early) / Washington, DC
12/20 – Eagle Rock, VA (early) / Lynchburg, VA
12/21 – Chapel Hill, NC / Raleigh, NC
12/22 – Athens, GA

For exact details on the locations of the individual shows, which are being hosted in folks' homes, please send a polite e-mail to musictapescaroling@gmail.com.

You can purchase The Singing Saw at Christmastime, on CD, vinyl or mp3, here.

Christmas (Not Christmas) w/ Was (Not Was)

Were some crazed maniac to ever put a gun to my head and demand to know my favorite Christmas album of all time, I'd answer, without hesitation, A Christmas Record by the fine folks at Ze. Specifically the "Improved Special 1982 Edition," which added James White's "Christmas With Satan" to the track list.

Since 1996, Festive! has been fortunate enough to interview several key players in this masterpiece, including Chris Butler (author of the Waitresses' "Christmas Wrapping"), Cristina ("Things Fall Apart"), and the aforementioned Mr. White (re-read the interview here). This year we set out sights on Was (Not Was), and their sarcastic funk masterpiece "Christmas Time in the Motor City." Since the Was Bros are in the midst of promoting their forthcoming best of collection, gaining virtual access to David Was proved surprisingly easy, and he answered our mouth-breathing, rabid fan boy questions in timely fashion, with his inimitable crackpot wit.

FESTIVE!: What was the cultural climate like in Detroit ca. 1981? Seems like "Christmastime In the Motor City" might be more timely than ever right now. The lyrics seem perfectly in sync with our current recession and its impact on Detroit.
David Was: Detroit is, was, and ever has been the laboratory for urban dysfunction, even during the boom years. White flight left the central city hobbled, its schools undernourished, its wounds visible and heartbreaking. Christmas is supposed to be a time of bounty and cheerfulness, optimism and fellow-feeling. Setting these cherished ideals in such a hardscrabble and brutal town like Detroit was a half-brainer — the ironies were built-in. It may be all mistletoe and reindeer elsewhere, but in Motown it was missing persons and rainclouds. I love that city with all my heart and its unfortunate victims of industrialization and urban blight. It is an object lesson of how modern prosperity is good for the top tiers, fatal to those below.

What was your initial response when Michael Zilkha asked you to participate in a Christmas record? Did you harbor any particular feelings, pro or con, about Christmas music before then? How did those feelings influence what Was (Not Was) did on their Christmas song? Your final verdict on both a) your song and b) the Ze Christmas Record in general?
Being Jewish, more by culture than discipline, I had as little feeling for Xmas as I did for Chanukah, but the notion of doing a song for the season was so out of step with our ethos of cynicism and disgust with the status quo, it seemed like a delicious opportunity to write the Anti-Santa anthem. Between the mind-numbing commercialism and treacly sentiment that poisons the otherwise bracingly beautiful days of autumn and winter, there was plenty of internal revulsion to stoke the songwriting fires. I think the album in general still stands as the perfect antidote to the cookie-cutter Christmas collection.

How long did you spend creating the song? Did it come in a flash, or did you labor at length? (Are there other, aborted Was (Not Was) Christmas song sketchs in a notebook or on tape somewhere?) Who all was roped in to help record it?
I remember the songwriting going fairly quickly once I had the title, which appealed to me because of the triple-repetition of M-sounds (Christmas, Time, Motor). Sometimes the title is enough motivation to move forward and fill in the blanks. I don't think I ever wrote another Xmas song after this one, though I am always reminded to try when November rolls around. As for who helped to realize it, that's a better question for Don, who organizes the co-conspirators, but it was the usual Detroit crew — George Clinton's gang of sidemen, our singers, etc.

What's up with the B section of the song, with the spoken monologue and bird sounds? I love it, but I've always been a bit baffled as to where that narrator's voice fits into the overall picture painted by the A section. Were they conceived separately and then bolted together, or was it all part of one crazed vision?
Gosh, I guess we invented rap with that breakdown spoken section, eh? Grandmaster WHO?!? I do like that bit of gratuitous Spanish delivering bad news to Santa: "Lo Siento Gramps/ We'll give you grub/ but there's no food stamps for tramps!" Damn, that's some cold shit, there! Not sure how that came about, maybe it was just an extra bit of lyric we couldn't fit in otherwise and just decided to have it declaimed rather than sung... too much LSD-spiked eggnog to remember though!

You and Don also had a role in helping Cristina record her own Christmas (Not Christmas) classic, "Things Fall Apart." What was your role in making that record? And your impressions of Cristina? Your partner Don Was once told me "We didn't have girls like her in Detroit."
Cristina was the original counter-cultural diva, with the class, brains and breeding to walk the walk. I remember supplying lines and rhymes for her lyric in a hotel room overlooking the Detroit River. She belonged to Boss Zilkha so there was no funny business, just poetry skull sessions fueled by weed and champagne. Don was right when he said Detroit had no such girls — she was as much a product of Paris as she was of Manhattan, a modern-day Henry James character, kind of a morphinized Daisy Miller. She was as headstrong and brilliant as she was fragile and damaged. I have an enduring affection for her.

Did any of your other labels (Columbia, Ryko) ever try and coerce Was (Not Was) into doing anything special, musically or for promotional purposes, in observance of the Christmas holidays?
Still waiting for someone to ask us to defile Western Christendom with another seasonal ditty. Post 9/11, I suppose I would have to write something equally offensive to Muslims and Christians alike, something like "Osama's Christmas Wish List" or "Santa's Sleigh is Heading for the Towers." That having been said, here's a heap of good wishes to all the delusional types who follow any of the Abrahamic Trifecta. Me, I pray to Freddy Nietzsche of Freddy and the Dreamers, who said: “A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.”


"Christmas Time in the Motor City" is available on both the Ze Christmas Record Reloaded and the Was (Not Was) collection Out Come the Freaks. The new Was (Not Was) best-of set, Pick of the Litter (1980-2010) will be in stores Feb. 23, 2010

Oh, Tannenbaum

Someone's quest for a free Christmas tree went too far. The Seattle Times reports that a rare Chinese conifer has been stolen from the Washington Park Arboretum. While we condemn such vandalism, the experts quoted in the article would be wise to refrain from invoking "A Charlie Brown Christmas" in their description, unless they want to inspire a wave of copycat crimes.

"I Walked With a Zombie" (holiday version)

Here at "Festive!," we do not allow advertising to influence editorial. No sir. We do, however, heed the advice of friends and loved ones. So if my BFF Dategirl suggests that I spread the gospel about an odd holiday-themed video, I do. Even if it namechecks zombies. *yawn* Although I suppose one of the joys of being undead is never having to worry about your "sell by" date. And there is a Roky Erickson song at the core of it all.

Pretty lights aside, the Christmas content doesn't really kick in until around the three minute mark, but this clip is pretty entertaining—in a Black Randy & the Metrosquad kinda way—regardless. Keep your eyes peeled for handsome Jon Spencer. And I must concur: Daytime TV is the real enemy. That and the 24-hour news cycle.

Next-to-"Last Christmas"

"Last Christmas" is one of those seasonal offerings where I far prefer the song to the hit recording. Much as I admire George Michael, I've always thought the 1984 Wham! version was a little bloodless. This year I've been grooving out to the iTunes exclusive by the cast of GLEE - yes, it's super-sappy, but a) what do you expect from a bunch of adolescents? and b) the money supports school music programs, via the GRAMMY Foundation. Although if you tune into my Christmas Day show on KEXP this year, you're more likely to hear the Erlend Oye acoustic rendition.

Should you require additional proof that "Last Christmas" is one of those iron-clad holiday songs that can withstand almost anything (and it has been subjected to 50+ covers, according to its Wikipedia entry), please revisit this Hi-NRG Eurodisco version by Whigfield (remember "Saturday Night"?), which should leave you feeling as dizzy as a shook-up snow globe.

Rockin' at the library

In the excellent book The Music Library, my beloved Jonny Trunk describes library music thus: "It's well produced economic music for film, TV, advertising and radio. Never commercially available, this music was pressed from the 1950s onwards in limited quantities and then sent directly to production houses and radio stations for use when necessary."

This summer, I found a pair of second-hand Christmas/holiday-related library LPs, both issued by Bruton Music, which was a London label founded in 1977. Among Bruton's modest claims to fame are providing incidental cues for Space 1999 and being owned, briefly, by Michael Jackson. One of the LPs was kind of a dud, mostly generic Muzak renditions of traditional carols and hymns. But the other, Christmas Is Here, sounds pretty groovy, updating standards with clunky modern touches. Dig the way this medley of "Joy To The World" and "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" interpolates elements from Art of Noise!

Christmas Is Here - "Joy To The World"

"Have Yourself A Movie Little Christmas" preview

Last year, I urged readers to check out the excellent Advent calendar of Christmas films by Alonso Duralde, one of my two favorite film critics. Since then, Alonso has secured a book deal on this subject. Have Yourself a Movie Little Christmas is scheduled for publication by Limelight Editions in Fall 2010. In the spirit of the season, he was kind enough to give Festive! a peek at one of the many, many entries.



Santa Claus (1959)

Unrated; 94 min.

Written by Adolfo Torres Portillo and René Cardona

Directed by René Cardona

Starring José Elías Moreno, José Luis "Trotsky" Aguirre, Lupita Quezadas, Armando Arriola
(DVD: Westlake Entertainment Group)

As Christmas Day approaches, Santa Claus (Moreno) prepares to brings toys to all the good children of the world with the assistance of his staff of magical helpers. Satan hopes to destroy Santa Claus and sends the demon Pitch (Aguirre) to Earth to create havoc on Christmas Eve. Pitch focuses on three mean little boys, encouraging them to make mischief, and he also tries to convince poor young Lupita (Quezadas) to steal a doll rather than believe that Santa will bring her one. Santa makes a little rich boy’s wishes come true by sending the child’s parents home to spend more time with him—it involves a “cocktail of remembrance,” long story—but Pitch sabotages Santa’s magic sleep powder and the flower that allows him to become invisible. Can Merlin (Arriola) save the day before the sun rises on December 25?




¡Ay, ay, ay! Leave it to the director of Wrestling Women vs. the Aztec Mummy to come up with a children’s entertainment this mind-bogglingly bizarre. Santa and Merlin teaming up to battle the devil is just one of Santa Claus’ truly weird qualities—Lupita’s nightmare about giant dancing dolls is the kind of movie moment that scars children for a lifetime—making for one wacky holiday film. Kids who grew up in the southwest in the 1960s and ’70s were subjected to this low-budget production at annual kiddie matinees every December, but Santa Claus became a more widely-known cult favorite after it got the skewering it so richly deserved on the cable series Mystery Science Theater 3000. After your first exposure to Santa Claus, you’ll find yourself going back to it every Christmas, still not quite believing your eyes.



Fun facts:

* Santa Claus was released in the United States by K. Gordon Murray, the infamous “King of the Kiddie Matinee,” who would cheaply acquire rights to European and Mexican fairy-tale movies, dub them into English and repackage them for American audiences. Murray also narrates the English-language version of Santa Claus under the name “Ken Smith.”
* Somehow, Santa Claus won the Golden Gate Award for the Best Family Film at the 1959 San Francisco International Film Festival.
* In a way, Santa Claus is, in many Spanish-speaking countries, the equivalent of It’s a Wonderful Life, in that when the film’s copyright went into the public domain, TV stations aired it over and over again at Christmastime, thus making it a cherished holiday tradition in many nations.
* After the film was shown on Mystery Science Theater 3000, “Pitch” (as played by Paul Chaplin) became a recurring character on the show.

Parenthetical Girls "The Christmas Creep"

Sometimes beauty lurks under your nose. I worked with Zac Pennington at The Stranger for ages before I realized he was also part of the amazing combo Parenthetical Girls, now based in Portland. As I've tried to explain on numerous occasions, the musicians I love best are those with aesthetics that are uniquely their own—even though they may acknowledge their artistic forebears. Parenthetical Girls definitely fall into that category, which is why their disc Entanglements wound up on all my Best of 2008 lists last year.

What I didn't learn until after I'd fallen completely in love with their weird-ass, arty and androgynous music was that Parenthetical Girls also love Christmas. In fact, they've released a slew of Christmas singles—some of which I've subsequently managed to snap up second hand or via the Interweb. Last year they skipped the season (although they contributed an old song to the excellent I'll Stay Till After Christmas digital charity comp), but are making up for it with a double-whammy in 2009. The double-A-side 7-inch "The Christmas Creep" will be available in very limited edition circa December 15. (Pre-order it here.)

In the meantime, the band is making both songs available as free downloads. Here's my favorite of the two, a cover of Sparks' "Thank God It's Not Christmas," described in Zac's own words:

"Inspired by two discreet stone classics from the Mael’s bloated back catalogue, our rendition of Kimono My House’s resolutely anti-holiday anthem attempts to shoehorn the song into the style latter-day Sparks records—specifically, 1983’s In Outer Space. We didn’t say it was a good idea."

I disagree. But you be the judge.

Parenthetical Girls "Thank God It's Not Christmas"

The other cut, "Flowers for Albion" ("A cheery original about the Christmas Blitz of 1940") is also floating around the web as a freebie, but I'll let you play detective. Trust me, Parenthetical Girls merit a few minutes of investigation. Here's my 2006 review of their album (((GRRRLS))) if you're curious.